there’s this girl who i like barely know and she thought that my best friend was my sister and wanted to sleepover at her house but she showed up to my house & then she didn’t have a ride to go back so she just slept in the spare bed we have. Now it’s late afternoon and she’s still here and i don’t know how to nicely kick her out. this is really awkward. i don’t even know her. she’s just watching futurama in my living room. how do i kick her out?

(Source: wylona-hayashi, via outfading)


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via vacuous-vituperation)


how to do halloween right: be friends with someone who’s allergic to chocolate 

(via vacuous-vituperation)




Inspirational stuff. He’s trying to find the man that saved his life.

Hits home that reblogging those ‘please don’t do it’ posts can definitely make a difference.

Linky to full story: [X]


He found him:

(via vacuous-vituperation)




this photoset is literally all I know about Death Note

this photoset is all you need to know about death note.

Next time I need to explain Death Note to someone, I will refer them to this gifset.

this gifset. death note. what u need 2 no.

(Source: vabracadabra, via vacuous-vituperation)






Harry was the favorite kid and he wasn’t even an official part of the family

Because Molly knows exactly how the Dursleys treat him. There’s no way Ron wouldn’t tell her. And Molly Weasley is a Mother. She gets a capital M because she is goddamn phenomenal at what she does. When she hears Harry Potter is on the train to Hogwarts in Book 1, her reaction isn’t to be starstruck. It’s to say “that poor dear had to come here all on his own.” Molly Weasley loves harder than anyone. She loves like it’s her sole reason for being. And when she hears there’s a poor boy who has never known love his whole life… how could she not?

In Year One Molly Weasley knit Harry a Weasley family sweater and made him homemade chocolate so he would have something to open on Christmas DON’T TOUCH ME

could I also just add that kids from abusive households tend to assume that yelling is directed at them and/or it heralds something bad for them so she’s making extra sure that he knows that this is not his fault and she’s not actually mad at him.

(via vacuous-vituperation)




ever wish u could just

What jerk made this

it was me 

expressing my personal feelings about my body

i’ll make sure not to do that next time

(Source: hicstreme, via vacuous-vituperation)


This is a seal with hiccups.  

You’re welcome.

hahahaha awh

(Source: jake--from--statefarm, via iwontletyoubethedeath0fme)


im laughing so hard

(Source: blowtimelow, via iwontletyoubethedeath0fme)